A Love That Makes No Sense

You know that feeling when you see an old flame across the room? The one who never quite made sense—too expensive, too impractical, utterly unnecessary—but still, you’d abandon all reason to have one more go? That, my friends, is how I feel about the Toyota Land Cruiser 100 Series.

I have no logical justification for wanting one. I already have a well maintained, sensible, economical double cab bakkie with a low range transfer case and all terrain tyres. So theres abolutely no practical reason to be pining over a 100 series. And yet, I’d empty my savings, forsake all financial responsibility, and possibly betray a close friend if it meant parking one in my driveway.

Built for a Different Era

See, the Land Cruiser 100 is not a car in the modern sense. It doesn’t have Apple CarPlay, lane-keeping nonsense, or a touchscreen that controls your heater. In fact, it has buttons. Actual, physical buttons, which, by today’s standards, are about as fashionable as a fax machine. The interior smells of real leather and adventure, and the dashboard could probably survive an artillery strike. It is a relic of a bygone era when Toyota’s engineers weren’t designing cars for people who drink decaf oat milk lattes.

The Reality of Finding One Today

And yet, despite being a solid chunk of Japanese determination on wheels, it’s not exactly the most rational purchase in 2025. Any 100 Series I find now will almost certainly have galactic mileage, and have taken more abuse than a certain Mr. Browns girlfriends. And if, by some miracle, I do find one with 250,000km on the clock, it will cost north of R300,000.00—which is absolutely ridiculous for a 25 year old SUV with a quarter of a million kilometers.

These things weren’t bought to sit in garages—they’ve towed, hauled, bashed through the bush, and crossed more borders than a diplomat’s passport. The fuel consumption is nothing short of outrageous—somewhere between ‘environmental vandalism’ and ‘an oil executive’s wet dream.’   It rides like a battle tank that’s just discovered power steering. 

A Machine That Refuses to Die

But reason be damned. The 100 Series is not just a car; it’s a commitment. It’s for people who understand that some machines are built to endure beyond your lifetime. This is not a disposable SUV designed to crumble at the mere suggestion of inconvenience. No, this is a car that will drag you through the depths of the Kalahari, clamber over mountains, and still be running strong when your grandkids are driving something powered by potato batteries. And it has a V8. A magnificent, growling, fuel-guzzling symphony of pistons that makes modern hybrid engines sound like a nervous cough. This engine does not purr; it asserts itself. It’s the kind of thing you fire up and immediately feel like you should be wearing a safari hat and shouting things like, ‘Onward, into the bush!’

Destined to Pine from Afar

I know I don’t need one. I know it makes absolutely no sense. But the heart wants what it wants, and mine will always want a 100 Series Land Cruiser. It will remain the impossible dream, the automotive love affair that never quite happens. And so, I will forever linger in the classifieds, torturing myself with what could have been, knowing full well that it was never meant to be. Alas, if only I were born 15 years earlier. 

MR MINTER